May 22, 2025
4 min read
This post is part of our Understand Feedback pillar. Explore more:
Because one-size-fits-all feedback just… doesn’t
The best feedback isn't just given well—it's asked well. To make feedback useful and actionable, you need to tailor your questions to the role, level, and context of the person you’re engaging with. This post breaks down how to shift your feedback questions based on seniority—so your asks land with clarity, impact, and relevance.
Different roles = different responsibilities = different growth edges. Yet we often use the same tired questions: “What can I do better?” “How am I doing?”
💥 These are vague, high-friction, and often yield… nothing useful.
“Feedback that sticks starts with questions that invite specificity.” — Brené Brown — Brené Brown
By customizing your questions to fit the person's scope of influence, you not only get better responses—you show emotional intelligence and strategic awareness.
🔹 Focus: Clarity, collaboration, and building reliability
🔹 Common blockers: Unclear expectations, over-indexing on execution vs. initiative, confidence building
Ask:
🔹 “Where do I tend to overcomplicate things or create extra work unintentionally?”
🔹 “Am I speaking up at the right moments—or holding back too much?”
🔹 “What’s one small habit that would make me more effective in how I work with others?”
💡 These questions encourage practical feedback while fostering confidence and self-awareness—without making the person feel “junior.”
🔹 Focus: Team communication, decision-making, people development
🔹 Common blockers: Delegation, over-functioning, inconsistent leadership presence
Ask:
🔹 “What’s something my team needs from me that I’m not fully delivering?”
🔹 “Where might I be unintentionally bottlenecking decisions?”
🔹 “What’s one moment where I modeled leadership well—and one where I could’ve done better?”
💡 These signal reflection and invite coaching-level input.
🔹 Focus: Strategic clarity, cross-functional influence, systems thinking
🔹 Common blockers: Misalignment, over-focusing on operations, unclear vision
Ask:
🔹 “Where is my strategy not connecting clearly across teams?”
🔹 “What signal might I be unintentionally sending through my actions or silence?”
🔹 “What do people say about my leadership when I’m not in the room?”
💡 The goal here is to reveal blind spots in perception, not just behavior.
🔹 Focus: Culture shaping, long-term vision, stakeholder alignment
🔹 Common blockers: Echo chambers, misperceived intent, diluted communication
Ask:
🔹 “What’s the unintended consequence of a recent decision I made?”
🔹 “What message am I unintentionally reinforcing through what I prioritize—or ignore?”
🔹 “What trust signals do I send—and what might be missing?”
💡 These questions invite nuance and bold honesty—without defensiveness.
“What’s one thing I should keep doing, stop doing, or change—based on where I am now?”
Tailor the framing:
🔹 For ICs: “...based on my work this past quarter.”
🔹 For managers: “...based on how my team is operating.”
🔹 For execs: “...based on our current culture and direction.”
What are good feedback questions for senior leaders? Ask about unintended impact, stakeholder alignment, and signals they send through behavior—not just performance outcomes.
🔹 How to Ask for Feedback Without Feeling Weird
🔹 Why feedback Alone Doesn't Lead to Growth
🔹 Intent Before Feedback - The Missing Step Most 360s Skip
What’s the best feedback question you’ve ever asked—or been asked?
👇 Share it in the comments - or forward this to a colleague who could use a better question.
Because feedback isn’t just about listening.
It’s about asking better in the first place